I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
