I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
