The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
