I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
