I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
