chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
