make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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