My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
