did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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