Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You may now shotgun with the bride
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
