THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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