You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
