Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She even gives head with a lisp.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I can't put those talents on a resume
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
