Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
