you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
