on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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