I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
