What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
