their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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