I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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