That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
