Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
