hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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