Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
