Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
