After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
