i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
