C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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