i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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