What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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