Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
The air taste purple.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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