I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
