Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
