It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
