I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
