...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
