What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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