I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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