And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
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