i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize
