There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
