I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
