You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
