This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
