So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
