I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
