Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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