When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
