She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
