Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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