found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
