After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
me + whiskey = a bad person
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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