I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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