Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Randomize
